As I've spent time "sleeping on" my This I Believe blog post (April 14), it occurs to me that I believe in the necessity for ritual and routine in life. This surprises me because most of my life I have loathed the idea of routine; I thought my life's goal was trying to break out of it.
But as I wrote about grieving the loss of the presence of my dog, my mother, my job...it seemed that perhaps what I really grieved -- selfish as it is -- is the loss of the routines and rituals they brought to my life.
What I miss is being able to talk to my mother when I have exciting news. What I miss is my godmother brushing my hair, and the contentment it brought me. What I miss is my dog standing next to me while I wash the dishes, her nose poking me for a treat. What I miss are the day-to-day routines and rituals with all my lost loves.
Suddenly, a discovered appreciation for the rituals and routines of life.
I can't understand whatyou are feeling as I haven't felt nearly the same loss or pain as you. That's not to say I don't understand pain, just haven't felt yours specifically.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, the routines of life are what keep us sane. They give us a break from ourselves and the chaos of life.
/me gives a big hug!
Anytime you need to talk, just email me.